My final chemo is looming and I’m all excited but I caught a cold. Cold symptoms are crap but it’s more the thought now of will it clear up before my last chemo or will there be a delay? I’m convinced in a couple of days my cold will have gone and the much awaited last chemo will be on time and the biggest part of my road to recovery will be almost over (it usually takes a week to 10 days to recover from the chemo). If I looked at this negatively I could read all the online posts about chemo and having a cold, low blood counts and pneumonia etc. I’m past the ‘danger’ days, I qualified for the expensive injection this time to boost my white blood cells (lucky me ) so my cold will run its course and chemo will finish on time, yey.
It’s my own fault I have a cold though. It’s my impatience. Having not gone out since January, I felt good and I thought I deserved a night out. I went for a meal with a friend, then for a few drinks, then everything went pear shaped (I won’t go into detail). I ended up having the worst night I’ve had for a long time. Note to self: You’re not strong enough yet!! I’m supposed to avoid places like pubs because of low immunity and infection and I need to avoid certain types of people too.
My night out though has led to me noticing a good change in myself. Alcohol is bad stuff, it changes people’s personalities and rationality and with all I’m putting up with at the moment with a smile on my face, I’m not strong enough to deal with other people’s problems, I’m not being selfish, just realistic. I won’t be pubbing it again anytime soon with people who can’t control themselves , I’m remembering to focus on me and I’m not putting up with people who make me feel bad. I noticed on my night out I had actually stopped being the people pleaser, afraid of upsetting anyone and I won’t put up with things or people I would previously have put up with. This is indeed a very good change.
So I’ll now carry on blowing my nose and coughing with a bit of sleeping in between. Have a good week and remember to focus on what makes you happy.

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